THE CHANGES AFTER SORROWS
Many of us have become acquainted with grief which is a unique way of changing feelings we have not experienced before. Loss of a loved one changes our emotions and our sense that it is not us that controls our lives but Christ the Lord. Having experienced the loss of those I deeply loved and not always by death, I learned the hard way to cover my feelings in pretense of dealing with it. I prayed and sought the Lord’s comfort believing that spiritually it was God’s purpose for my life. What I did not do was acknowledge hidden feelings such as loneliness, anger, unanswered questions and the deep inner hurt and pain. I smiled behind dry tears, stated that I was okay, acted with confidence and of coping speech and PRETENDED. My inner soul cried with sorrowing prayers but I did not share until one day I broke. I remembered how Jesus on the night before the cross and how he rose from his knees to seek out his disciples. They slept and slept, not one could stay awake and HE was so alone. Jesus knew what was ahead yet he did not waken his beloved companions. So, HE returned to his place of prayer that bled, knowing the cross was prepared for him that he had to die in agony for the world. ALONE and until dawn he endured such grief. For you and for me his blood set us free.
It took me a toll of truth offerings and a long, lingering time of the power of love to flow through him to me but on the journey my soul received strength and wisdom but most of all assurance of his LOVE and the increase of his gift. His Love in exchange for my sorrowing loss, forever in such a time as HIS whole healing of my heart.
HOW hard it would be if I could not see, spanning rainbows, sunsets or fragrant roses,
flowing, rushing rivers, or emerald hills to reach out to wind kissed trees
If I could not hold hands or rub noses in a greeting.
If I could not jump my feet to splash in wet puddles
or lift my face to trickling rain as in pain,
If my brain, my thoughts, were in a muddle,
would I, do I, feel sorrow for many of the same?
In this spiritual realm that we so need to see, and to be?